Title: ’Twixt Devil And Deep Blue Sea
Setting: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Character(s): Caspian X, Edmund Pevensie (mentioned throughout)
Pairing(s): Caspian/Edmund Pevensie
Disclaimer: Characters you recognise belong to C. S. Lewis.
Summary: How can you risk ruining the best thing that’s happened to you since you can’t remember when?
Aslan blesses you with the gift, your second such this lifetime, of two of the Kings and Queens of Old. And although it is a blessing (you’ve no idea at all what you’ve done to be ranked so high in his favour), your life because of it has never been so complicated. You see, you’ve a dilemma. Named Ed.
And it’s a real problem: how can you risk ruining the best thing that’s happened to you since you can’t remember when? You don’t know how long you’ll get to keep him, this time. But spending your time running scared, terrified of pushing Ed away by somehow saying or doing the wrong thing, means the length of his stay here with you is almost irrelevant.
At the root of your behaviour is how much you want to keep him. Anything else is a bonus, and a welcome one, but your absolute red line is Ed staying with you. You’re willing to do whatever is necessary, up to and including (and you’re uncomfortable admitting this, but ignoring it won’t change the truth of it) going against the Lion’s wishes, to achieve your ends. And you know talking to Ed, finding out whether what seems like heated flirting to you is reflective of what he wants to do with and to you, should happen soon before you’re in too deep to get out without being hurt.
But you know how, if he has feelings of any kind for you and you don’t give him an outlet to express them, you might well alienate him, anyway.
Either way, you lose.
You’ve considered being less tactile; fewer touches. Less eye contact, less everything. But your mind recoils at that idea and you don’t want to choose this route when you’ve other options. You don’t want this to backfire on you, and you’re aware of how easy it is for that to happen. Even though you’re trying your hardest to avoid saying or doing anything that can appear misleading, or which Ed could misconstrue as meaning something you didn’t intend, you know he could still take your behaviour as a sign you don’t like him in that way. Elements of this punctuate your nightmares.
Which, taken in tandem with your mouth’s ability to follow its own agenda in direct contradiction to your brain, means you’re stuck between the rock and the hard place, rather, doesn’t it?